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A New Place


Life changes you every day.  Sometimes it happens in little ways and other times it is so big, so sudden, that your “before” life becomes a distant and forever-gone place.  This year I have watched the lives of my family become instantly changed.

William Baker was born in 1943 to Al and Helen Baker.  He grew up in San Leandro and went to UC Berkeley where he met his wife, Margaret.  They were married in 1966 and celebrated 50 years together with family and friends in April 2016.  One year and one day later William passed away suddenly at a hot springs near Silver City, New Mexico.  He and his bride had been traveling the Southwest, as they had been often known to do in retirement.

Bill and Margaret had just that weekend watched Jon win all five stages of the Tour of the Gila. I received the news of Bill’s death while down in Mexico, where Axel and I were staying while he finished up his fifth grade classes at Instituto Juan de Ugarte.  We left Mexico for Nevada City immediately and have been living here ever since.

Margaret and Jon had a much more difficult journey. First to drive back to California in two RV’s, empty of husband and father, and then to face the rest of their lives with that void.  I cannot imagine what it is like for them.  The loss I feel is powerful, but it cannot be the same.

Bill was my father-in-law but before that he was our family friend.  He was my dad’s best friend. He took the first photo of my parents as a couple: my mom, 18 years old, was leaning in the driver’s window of a truck to kiss my dad.  Bill, in the passenger seat, snapped a pic.  Later, he was the best man at their wedding.  Bill was always there to listen  and give thoughtful comments.

Last Christmas we hung out in Bill’s garage and had a Grateful Dead dance party. Bill, his daughter Valerie, granddaughters Jasmine and Leah, and myself comprised the group.  We all donned Bill’s substantial collection of Mardi Gras beads and danced, laughed, and had group hugs. Libations may have been involved.  The picture of Bill that I put in this post was taken that night in the garage.

Earlier that year, in August, Jon and Axel and I went backpacking into Five Lakes Basin into “Engineer’s Camp” where Bill had staked out our site days earlier to ensure we had the magnificent spot.  Brother-in-law Richard and his son, Ben, were there also.  We hiked, played free range disc golf in the open granite terrain, and swam in the high mountain lakes.

My dad summed it up pretty well a few months ago when he said that he didn’t have any regrets about not doing stuff with Bill.  He has nearly a lifetime of their memorable experiences to look back on. The great sadness comes from knowing that there cannot be new memories.

Last April my whole family had to move to a new place, some physically, some emotionally, some both.  Here we are. We bought a condo in Nevada City.  Axel started school at Seven Hills. We have lots of family dinners.

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