Early Monday morning, in an unprecedented demonstration of the obfuscation of the real world, average tweeters everywhere were given the ability to make Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Betty White listen to their boring sub-140 character life updates. Yes, kiddies, it’s true. Well, ok, I really don’t know if Betty White is on Twitter- I missed SNL this weekend - but had you known about this, you would have been able to make someone follow you on Twitter. A force-follow if you will, any twit you could dream up. What would I have done with such immense power? Probably frittered it away, or should I say twittered it away. I would have made Sarah Palin follow me, then posted locations of secret tea-bagging sessions where everyone would get a free Prada goodie bag for participating. The locations would all turn out to be Planned Parenthood offices. I would have forced myself upon Rob Lowe and Jude Law, tipping them off to the headquarters of the under-23 nanny society, only...